The Adventures of Ichabod and Mrs. Toad (Part 2) - Great Escapes and Easy Infiltrations

Previously on Ichabod and Mrs. Toad: Mrs. Toad is swiped off the streets of Shapingba district. After a torturous cab ride in the pocket of a giant, she settles into her new pot for the night. Little does the giant know, she's already plotting her freedom. If you haven't read Part 1, you might want to go back and read that now. It sows the seeds of resentment necessary to understand Mrs. Toad's next move.

Day one, I've survived the journey to my new prison. The walls are cold and slick but the top of my cage appears to be loose. Yes, I've been rattling it for the last half an hour which for some reason upset the giant. He lifted the lid and yelled at me but I puffed up really big and flung mud everywhere until he went back to bed. Tomorrow....

The next morning, I jumped out of bed like an excited kid on Christmas and ran over to Mrs. Toad sitting on my desk. Unfortunately, I didn't know she was sleeping and if you think I'M grumpy when I get woken up unexpectedly, you haven't seen Mrs. Toad. I clearly startled her from her slumber because she immediately puffed up to almost twice her original size and let out the most high-pitched, girly croak I've ever heard. She overreacted so much, in fact, that she flipped right over onto her back and spent a solid minute trying to right herself. 

Her act of aggression completely backfired though because she was so cute I had to do a photo shoot on my table immediatley; I'm sure she loved the attention. So I spent my morning before work trying to get her to sit still long enough for me to get some pictures. She was incredibly uncooperative, but I did manage to get these beauties. 

 I should have guessed that she was plotting something. By the end of our photo shoot she was suspiciously content with me holding her. I'm pretty sure she was just getting the  layout of my apartment for her escape.

The foolish giant has given me a complete view of his apartment. He's been gone a long time so I'm going to make my escape today. I think escaping through the toilet drain is my best bet...

After work, I rushed to find a new cage for her. I went to the lady on the street who sells turtles and hamsters and stuff but she didn't have a cage that I felt was suitable for my new friend. So I went to the store and bought a moderately sized tupperware container with a lid. I went bounding up to my apartment, eager to show Mrs. Toad her new accommodations. When I opened my apartment door, however, I saw from across the room that the lid to her pot was ajar and she wasn't inside!

I had maybe two full seconds to register this horror before out of no where a dark shape and buzzing sound suddenly charged right for my face. I flailed like any sane person does when they realize that a giant bug is flying straight for their good eye and I managed to successfully swat it to the ground. This is how I came to room with Ichabod (Ick for short, as Grandma Katie affectionately calls him).  Bonus points to Dad who correctly identified him as an Asian long-horned beetle. What the internet might not tell you is 1) they've got a nasty bite and 2) they can rub their exoskeletons together to make a bizarre clicking and hissing sound that is REALLY upsetting coming from a bug. Anyway, once I grounded the kamikaze bug, I had bigger issues to deal with.


I began searching for Mrs. Toad by looking under my couch and under my washer, etc. She was nowhere to be found. Then I noticed a trail of dirt and mud making it's way from my desk under my bed. I followed the trail but once I was under the bed, I still couldn't find her! Little did I know, she had bolted out of the other side of the bed and I saw her making a break for my bathroom covered in dust bunnies. I clearly wasn't that worried because I had time to find my camera and take these pictures of her daring escape. Needless to say, she did NOT look happy about her plans being thwarted.


But I had little time to care about that because there was still a blood-thirsty beetle cruising around my apartment waiting for another opportunity to sneak-attack me. I found him quickly. He was trying to get back out the window that he must have flown in through. He was struggling pretty badly to get airborne though--probably because I just thunder-palmed him straight to the ground not five minutes early.

"I'm gettin' out of here. Peace suckers!"

"I might have to crawl my way out..."

"WHOA! STABILIZE!"

 Naturally, I decided that Ick was going to be Mrs. Toad's roommate, if not her friend. So I put them in the cage together. They immediately hated each other. Or, unsurprisingly, Mrs. Toad hated Ick and seemed less interested in eating him than she did in bullying him. Soon, however, she would change her mind...

Love always,

Jared