Hall and Oates

After letting my last creature go--the enigmatic and extremely grumpy toad--I struggled with my empty nest. I missed the excitement of rushing home to my unappreciative friend and poking bugs into her cage for her to ignore.

Because of this longing, I found myself in Nanping with Derrick, walking down a row of pet shops seeking a new friend. As we explored, my hopes of finding a new companion sunk lower and lower. The pet shops consisted almost exclusively of cage after cage of dogs and cats, a responsibility way outside my threshold of effort. But as we approached the last of the shops, a small cage rested out front full of adorable little balls of fluff. These guys:

Say hello to Hall and Oates! After failing miserably to name them myself, I pooled my smarter friends on Facebook who offered up an overwhelming number of possible names for them (Natasha and Boris, Sam and Charlie, Pinky and the Brain). I shouldn't have been so stressed because to be honest, more often than not, I end up referring to them as the Chip Chips. And when directly addressing them, I fall back on any number of expletives that strike my fancy at the time. The thing I've learned after my brief venture into chipmunk ownership is quite simply that they should not be pets. 

The Adventures of Ichabod and Mrs. Toad (Part 3) - And Then There Was One

Sorry this update is so belated! I actually forgot I wrote it. Yes, my memory is that bad.

But part 3 of the Ichabod and Mrs. Toad story is very short. I woke up one morning to find that Ichabod was missing and due to Mrs. Toad's satisfied look on her face, I'm going to assume she put aside her prejudice and decided to finally eat him. It had been a couple days since I got her any bugs so I'm not surprised to be honest.

But this made me realize that I wasn't really giving her the best life and that I might need to return Mrs. Toad to the 'wild' where she came from--aka the streets of downtown Chonginqg. I was nervous about releasing her into a district of the city that she wasn't familiar with, but she's got more savoir-faire than that dog from Oliver and Company so I had faith. I would much rather have released her into the true wild but I decided the park behind my apartment building was close enough.

The second she touched the ground, she got her bearings and then kowabunga-plunged into the bushes. Have a look:

Sir Macgregor Applebottom, esq. III

I would like to introduce you all to my new friend, Sir Macgregor Applebottom, Esq. III. No he's not a well-off expat that I met here in Chongqing. It's the name I've given to the new operating system on my MacBook. I assume he looks something like this...

It started when I got back from vacation a few weeks ago. I had left my computer at home, shut down, giving it a much deserved rest after near constant use since I arrived in China. I figured four days of no activity would be a welcomed respite from the usual gruelling pace (Oregon Trail reference for all my 90's kids) of my every day activities.

Once home, my computer turned on as normal and I began to warm it back up into the usual: internet / iTunes / Word / email course. Little did I know, my poor computer's demise was imminent. In the middle of uploading some pictures from my vacation, the poor ol' chap death-rattled, by which I mean the screen blinked bright and fast enough to nearly induce a seizure, and then never turned on again.

I'm Heated, No Seriously

So my patient friends, I would apologise for another long absence from blogging but if I did so every time I went a month without posting, well I'd be apologising a lot. And you all know me well enough to know I tend to disappear for weeks at a time and then casually reemerge from my cave as if I haven't been a hermit this whole time. I have a number of posts waiting to go up once I've included the pictures, but I would like to interrupt said schedule to tell you all one thing straight away:

IT'S HOTTER THAN HELL RIGHT NOW.

I've read quite a few Facebook posts that were all something to the effect of, Gee wiz it's hot here! Almost 90 degrees! Time to lay out in the hot summer sun! I'm loving this 'vacation weather'

To which I reply, kindly shut. your. mouth.

While you are all enjoying your 'vacation weather' or whatever you call it, this side of the world is roasting. The heat here in Chongqing right now is oppressive, it's stifling, it's relentless, it's ruthless, it's suffocating. And those are just the words I can think of without pulling out a thesaurus.

You guys, it feels like some sweaty, hairy sumo-wrestling giant has wrapped his arms around me and body slammed me straight into hell. It's like I can feel the hot, sticky breath of satan on my neck every time I leave my apartment. It's like somehow the atmosphere knows to leave a hole in the sky right above me so that solar flares can descend upon me like a fiery balrog and char my flesh. I'm not even joking. Air conditioning has become a religious experience for me and I've literally given offerings to my AC unit above my bed in the hopes that it will never turn it's back on me in this time of need.

So, go. Enjoy your 'vacation weather'. Soak in the sun. Have a hot dog. But check your meteorological privilege long enough to appreciate that some of us are not exactly appreciating this GLORIOUS season, thanks.

You guys know what I'm talking about.