Sunday, July 13, 2014

Sir Macgregor Applebottom, esq. III

I would like to introduce you all to my new friend, Sir Macgregor Applebottom, Esq. III. No he's not a well-off expat that I met here in Chongqing. It's the name I've given to the new operating system on my MacBook. I assume he looks something like this...



It started when I got back from vacation a few weeks ago. I had left my computer at home, shut down, giving it a much deserved rest after near constant use since I arrived in China. I figured four days of no activity would be a welcomed respite from the usual gruelling pace (Oregon Trail reference for all my 90's kids) of my every day activities.

Once home, my computer turned on as normal and I began to warm it back up into the usual: internet / iTunes / Word / email course. Little did I know, my poor computer's demise was imminent. In the middle of uploading some pictures from my vacation, the poor ol' chap death-rattled, by which I mean the screen blinked bright and fast enough to nearly induce a seizure, and then never turned on again.



Now I realise I've hit rock-bottom. Worse yet, I recognise the fact that I know nothing about computers. A computer crash for me is like surviving a a ship wreck and then washing ashore only to found out that your survival guide is written in.....well.....Chinese. I'm thinking to myself, I'm hopeless with technology in English, let alone Chinese.

Let's just say you can't exactly pantomime 'operating system', 'reboot', and 'safe mode'. But after some research (by which I mean I texted my boyfriend in a panic and made him figure out what to do), I found an apple store (by which I mean Scott again googled it for me) and got on the train to figure it all out (which I actually did on my own, thanks).

Once at the store, I actually had a pretty easy time. They know what they're doing so I handed them my computer and simply said, "It's broken. I swear it wasn't my fault". Luckily I had done some quick translating on my phone before I left so when they told me I just needed to backup my files and reset my operating system, I was on board. After about an hour of transferring files to my hard drive and making small talk with the employee helping me, my computer was apparently fixed. She turned me computer around to me and told me to log-in. Straight away there was an obvious problem.

"Um....this is all in Chinese" I said. "Yeah!" she excitedly exclaimed. To which I stared at her for half a beat before her face fell with an, "Ooooohhhhh yeah. Foreigner. One second". Not two minutes later, she had changed my computer back into English and sent me on my way.

It wasn't until I got home and started actually using that I realised there was a problem. Has anyone noticed it yet? It's probably obvious to all my American friends who can recognise when a word is spelt oddly.

Yes, that's right, my computer was changed into British English. A small annoyance, I'll admit. I resolved to changing it straight away, but as usual 'straight away' meant I'd postpone it indefinitely. And then I made a big mistake. You know how when you bring home a stray animal (nutria, skunk, diseased cat), everyone says 'Don't go naming that thing or you'll get attached and never let it go'.

Well that's exactly what happened. Now we've come full circle and I'd like to introduce you to Sir Macgregor Applebottom, esq. III, my new British operating system. I've grown fond of his quirky spelling and condescending nature over the last few weeks and the more I get used to this, the more I'm willing to let it stick around.

2 comments:

  1. Your use of "death-rattled" spoke to me Sir Macgregor Applebottom, esq. III.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hahaha! I knew you'd appreciate that. You invented the death rattle

    ReplyDelete